


Tyger, tyger burning bright

by LlanternGhost



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Kissing, M/M, Suicide Attempt, bois being gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25357954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LlanternGhost/pseuds/LlanternGhost
Summary: What if Baz hadn’t set the forest alight? What if he’d gone for a more direct route? What then?“He’s on his feet now, screaming at me, his words interrupted with raw, desperate, choking tears. His wand is out, tears streaming down his face as he yells to the sky- “ Tyger, tyger burning bright!”-And the world stops as he goes up in flames.”
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 11
Kudos: 157





	1. Chapter 1

Baz pulls off the road suddenly and hits the brakes, fishtailing halfway into a ditch, then gets out of the car like he’s just parallel parked it, and starts to run towards the trees.

I get out and follow him, running after him desperately, trees tearing at my clothes, Baz’s magic thick and cloying in the air, filling my nostrils with smoke. It’s pitch black and freezing but all I can feel is _hot hot hot_ as I run- and I suddenly understand what Baz meant by lighting a match as his magic surrounds me, choking me, like it’s about to explode, and I realise it’s not dissimilar to my own.

  
There’s a panic building up in my chest, coiling tightly and squeezing my heart- I know I have to stop whatever he’s trying to do.

Ahead of me, he trips, going flying into the forest floor, hitting the ground with a sickening thump.

“I’m a monster.” He whispers, voice broken and grating

“Baz no-“

“You know I am! You’ve spent our entire lives trying to prove it! My mother died to save me and this is how I repay her? By letting a _monster_ live! You hate me! She would have hated me! Everyone hates me! _Everyone knows I deserve to die!”_ He’s on his feet now, screaming at me, his words interrupted with raw, desperate, choking tears. His wand is out, tears streaming down his face as he yells to the sky- **“** **Tyger, tyger burning bright!”-**

And time stops as he goes up in flames.

Crimson fire licking down his arm, across his body, shooting up in a great plume of twisting, swirling beauty.

Because of course , even whilst _dying_ Baz is beautiful and I suddenly realise- I can’t let this happen

_I can’t lose Baz._

Before I know what’s happening I’m running- running towards him, running straight to the fire, screaming the only spell I can think of, a spell we’d come across in an old book a while back, a spell that even Penny would never be powerful enough to master-

But everyone knows Simon Snow Doesn’t Think

**“And true loves kiss shall wake the dead!”**

* * *

Simon Snow is kissing me and I’m dead. Because I must be. Because I just killed myself and Simon Snow is kissing me.

Aleister Crowley, death must be charming.

* * *

I just want him to survive. I just want him to get up and follow me out of here. I just want to be back at Watford in our room, knowing he’s there, and that he isn’t hurting anyone, and no one is hurting him.

* * *

Is this a good kiss? I don’t know. Snow’s mouth is hot. Everything is hot. He’s pushing me, so I push back. His cross is rattling in my tongue and jaw. His pulse is beating in my throat. And his mouth is killing everything I’m trying to think.

_Simon Snow._

* * *

Baz’s mouth is hot. Baz’s mouth is hot and I can feel his pulse beating in tandem with my own and I open my eyes, confused, and his skin is a sun weathered golden and I suddenly realise- he’s alive. _Merlin and Morgana, Baz is **alive.**_

And the repercussions are going to be massive- how the _hell_ are we going to explain Baz _coming back to life._

But right now I don’t care- right now I don’t want to think about that. Right now, all I want to think about are my fingers in his hair, his mouth on mine.


	2. Baz is alive so that’s great

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was not what I was expecting this chapter to look like. But it’s one am word vomit so I rally shouldn’t have expected anything else. My brain cannot function properly know I need to change my battery’s, goodbye.
> 
> Tw for internalised homophobia

It takes me a little while to realise that I am, in fact, alive. _Alistair fucking Crowely I’m **alive.**_

I’m alive, in a forest and Simon Snow is kissing me. Simon Snow is kissing me and his fingers are tangled in my hair and I’m _so confused._ I push him away, and it only works because he’s he’s not expecting it. He’s looks at me, eyes wide and wanting, hair tousled and messy in a way that’s so disastrously, fantastically _Simon._

I don’t really know what to say. So I settle with something simple- “ _what the actual fuck”_

he grins at me sheepishly, then uses that voice of his that means he’s definitely quoting Bunce “true loves kiss shall wake the dead?”

”you managed to bring a _vampire._ Back from the _dead._ With a _kiss.”_

 _“....._ apparently. AlsoIthinkI’mgay?”

the last part comes out in a rush, and I can only gape. _Simon Snow just brought me back from the dead by kissing me._ Merlin and Morgana I’m too gay for this shit. I’m also now having doubts about the not-being-dead-thing. I must be in heaven or something. _surely._

 _“_ Or, like bi or something cos I definitely used to be in love with Agatha, but, like, I was kissing you and I was like, holy shit this is really nice, and then I was like, that’s not really straight, right, wanting to snog your enemy, and then I was like, wait a minute that spell only works if you’re madly in love with the person, true love and all that, and _then_ I was like, I’ve probably actually been in love with you for I while yknow, and, wow, I’m such an idiot, did you know Penny had to _ban_ me from talking to you this one time, like _what_ and, and, also, like, I just realised me and Agatha are both in love with you and you’ve been flirting with her and you hate me and oh my god, _shit_ you probably hate me more than ever your probably so disgusted why did I do that _why the fuck did I do that_ you hate me you hate me you’re going to tell everyone what a disgusting f*ggot I am _shit_ nononono no no please no I can’t-“

I snap out of my state of shock as smoke, thick and magykal, begins to pour out of him in terrified waves and before I know I’m doing, I’m grabbing his hand and pressing my lips gently to his because I want him, need him to know _I love him and I can’t bear to see him so scared and helpless like that, sitting on the forest floor, words pouring themselves out of him in a torrent of panic and self- loathing._

We break apart eventually, after a waterfall of kisses, soft and comforting, nothing like the desperate passion not even five minutes beforehand. He looks at me with wide, confused eyes and my lips quirk up into the smallest of smiles

”you really think I give a fuck about Wellbelove? I was frustrated, and jealous, because she had everything I could ever want and yet she threw you away. She had no family constantly telling her she would be the one to kill, you she _had_ to be the one to kill you she had no father pretending she was straight even though he _knows_ the truth, and trying to set me up with every wealthy girl who happens to walk past, no aunt so obsessed with taking the mage down she goes so far as trying to steal your voice, using me as a pawn in this ridiculous war, she never was in a position that saying complete accidents, like the stairs and the chimera, were on purpose seemed the better option than telling the truth so no, it’s not Wellbelove, it’s you, Simon. It’s _always_ been you, who could it _possibly_ be but you? You are the sun and I am crashing into you.

I love you,Simon Snow.”

he gapes at me for a few seconds, before collapsing in on himself, pulling me into his warmth (death is so cold and Simon snow is so warm)we stay like that for who knows how long, clutching each other desperately, sobbing, the turmoil of emotions in our weary heads finally catching up to us and sending us both crashing, exhausted into each others arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I forgot to mention that I have lifted bits directly out of the book (not massively, but they’re there) so all credit for that goes to Gemma T. Leslie. 
> 
> Just kidding it’s Rainbow Rowell

“Girls?” Simon says. “More than one?”

“Agatha,” I say over his shoulder, “welcome. Hello, Bunce.”

He spins around. Bunce and Wellbelove are standing in the library door, gaping at me- which makes sense. They’re used to me being deathly pale, and now her I am, golden and human and alive. Vera hadn’t really reacted, and none of my family had seen me yet (Merlin knows what’s goes on in Vera’s head. I almost feel sorry for her). Bunce speaks first.

“What the hell?” For once she doesn’t know quite what to say, which makes me somewhat smug.

“I was a vampire, now I’m not. Would you like a cuppa?” Bunce is still staring at me with wide eyes, and I can practically hear the gears turning in her head. I turn to asses Wellbelove’s reaction- she looks confused, and is clutching a plate off gingerbread men like a life line. Redirecting her attention to Simon, she utters a startled “what are _you_ doing here simon”

He looks so uncomfortable I want to laugh. “Same thing as you?” His voice cracks and it’s so adorable I might die (again) “what am _I_ doing here?” She turns to glare at Bunce.

Bunce seems to still be speechless, staring at me in shock, before the floodgates open, “But,, a vampire- it doesn’t,,,, how- no one can just _resurrect_ themselves,- it doesn’t work like- there’s only one spell,,,, and, and,,,,, you’d have to be _so_ powerful- I don’t- wha- _you can’t do it on yourself_ ,,, how- who-“

And then her eyes go wide.

And her gaze flicks between me and Simon and back again.

And you can see the exact moment the penny drops. (Ha, Penny)

Simon looks like a deer caught in headlights (an adorable deer)

“God dammit now I owe trixie 50 bucks.”

I blink at her. Simon looks befuddled. Bunce smiles. “I would like some tea, thanks, so, Nicodemus?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, Trixie bet they were going to get together by the end of the school year, Keris bet that they were going to realise their feelings but not act upon them, Dev bet they were never going to figure it out, ebb and Penny both bet that they were going to get together after school/when the humdrum was defeated, and Niall bet that Baz was going to win Agatha (he somewhat missed the point). Agatha had no idea there was a bet.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured because penny knows, she wouldn’t take Simon back, so Malcolm’s therapy conversation never happens

I’m holding my violin, not playing it, when my father comes back to the library.

“Bunce and Wellbelove are gone.”

He’s glaring at Snow, who’s still doing an impressive imitation of a deer in headlights. It’s as if he thinks the ice in his eyes can make Snow just vanish from existence. Simon glances at me, a silent plead for help. Father follows his gaze, redirecting attention to me-

and freezes.

“Basilton-“ he begins, words sticking in his throat, and I have to fight back the smirk at his complete and utter befuddlement.

“Yes father?” I ask, the picture of innocence, enjoying this far too much-

And then I realise the flaw in my master plan- I _don’t have a plan._ Judging by the panic radiating off of Simon in waves of smoky magyk, he’s realised the same thing.

“How- _how?_ ”

Me and Simon glance at each other. Father shoots a terrified look at him- he’s nowhere near going off, but he doesn’t know that.

I open my mouth hesitantly. “Apparently being a vampire was a temporary thing. I just woke up like this.” I keep my voice even and icy- father should be able to see through it instantly, but luckily for us he’s far to befuddled to make sense of anything.

We stare at each other for a while.

“Dinner will be ready soon,” he finally says, slipping on his mask of perfect indifference again. He glances at Snow. “You should change.”

“Of course, father.”

As soon as he leaves the room Simon turns to me, an incredulous look on his face. “ _I woke up like this? That_ was the best excuse you could come up with?”

“Well what did you want me to say?” I snipe back, “oh, yeah, turns out Simon Snow is such a great kisser he brings people back from the dead with his lips”

He huffs, opening his mouth to retort and I kiss him. Because this argument is going nowhere and because I want to- because I _can_. He laughs against my lips and I pull back, not bothering to hide my grin. Pouting, he leans forwards, closing the gap between us again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to SkarpetkaMroku for the ‘Snow is such a great kisser he brings people back from the dead with his lips’


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baz is a little ooc but I figured in this situation he wouldn’t really have the energy to be his usual self. I always wondered what penny’s mom would say, because I don’t think it really covers that in the book

I’m in Mitali Bunce’s car, and it’s utterly silent. I know how it looks, from the outside- the mage, dead, Simon clinging to me like he can’t let go, and his girlfriend vanished into the night, fresh snow clearing any trace of her left behind. When the mage’s men had arrived they wasted no time in drawing their wands against me, and I would have stood there, exhausted, and let them kill me- but Mitali Bunce had arrived, and she had wrestled her children into the car, shouting all the while. She would have left me to die if Simon hadn’t refused to let go off me, I know that. Not that Simon was doing much to stop anyone from doing anything in the state he was in, but I think Mitali is afraid to touch him- even with his powers gone he burns brighter than us all and it’s hard not to be intimidated. I was, too, before-

I shake my head slightly, trying to rid it of thoughts of fires and forests and Simon snow’s lips.

He’s sleeping, now, curled up against me in the backseat of the Bunce car. Penny’s also asleep, in the front seat. She’s a noisy sleeper, twitching and muttering- then again, that could just be the trauma. She whimpers at one point and Mitali flinches, knuckles going white on the steering wheel, and I can’t help but feel a flash of jealousy. I doubt father ever even cared when I used to wake up screaming from nightmares of blood and vampires and mom going up in flames.

I try to ignore the periodic ice- cold glared Mitali sends my way in the mirror and instead focus on Simon.

I’m comparison to penny he’s a freakishly still, quiet sleeper. I asked about it, once, in third year, and he had muttered something about ‘orphanages’ and ‘none of your business’, tone too low to make out full sentences, eyes dark and troubled in a way that made my stomach twist uncomfortably. An expression so tortured should not belong on the face of Simon Snow.

His head is buried into my shoulders, lips moving against the golden skin of my golden collarbone with every breath, our hearts beating in tandem. It’s hard to resist carding my fingers through his hair but I am oh too conscious of Mitali’s blameful gaze. There’s a soft smile on his face and my heart does a painful little flip flop.

Something wet and hot trickles down my cheek and I taste salt in the corner of my mouth.

“Why are you crying?” Mitali’s icy voice startled me out of my thoughts. She’s not sympathetic- just curious.

“Do you want to know how the mage died?” I practically whisper, voice painful and grating.

“What?” She’s confused- she thinks _I_ killed the mage, of course. I don’t like her. I don’t trust her- I barely know her but I’m tired and an emotional wreck and I need someone else to know.

“Penny and I arrived after the mage had killed Ebb-“ there’s a shocked inhale from the front seat. “- he and Simon were fighting. Simon was going to die.” The statement shocks me as much as it shocks her- because it’s true. “Penny cast-“ my voice catches, growing smaller still, my usual eloquence lost in my exhaustion. “Penny cast **Simon says** and Simon-“ bile rises in my throat as his scared, broken voice reverberates in my head. Mitali glances at penny, whose muttering something that sounds like ‘ **nonsense** ’ under her breath. “He said-

**Stop it. Stop hurting me.** ” Mitali’s eyes widen. My face is wet with tears.

“And then the mage was dead.”

Mitali tears her shocked, confused eyes away from the mirror and onto the road , reeling. I’ve raised more questions than I’ve answered but this is a story for later- a story for Simon to embellish and for penny to roll her eyes at, for me to chip in with my dry humour- it is a story of heroes and villains, mages and vampires and numpties.

It is not a story to be told in a snowy car with a crying villain and the protagonist curled up, asleep at his former enemy’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’m only going to have one more chapter, with Fiona, but if you want to see anything else please comment it!


End file.
